Faux de pas

I saw someone's status on one of those networking sites that struck me as, well, a unique way of making a good point.  It said something to the effect of fake people being like knock-off handbags; by themselves, they may look good to the rest of the world.  Put them next to the genuine product, and they look like the very thing they are:  cheap, superficial, and seriously lacking in quality.   Only the  person didn't use quite so many words--it was written a little more bluntly.

And it set the wheels in motion (the wheels in my mind, of course--yes, I know.  It may seem empty, but it's really not!).

I could have summed up this person's description in one politically correct word:  superficial.  But the thinking didn't stop there.  I started thinking about who I am versus what a few closed-minded, ill-educated, homophobic idiots think of me.  Which, in turn, led me to what I despise about some of my more outrageous brethren--or in this case, "sistahs".  And labels.  As people, we thrive on labels.  If we can't label it, then we can't recognize it. 

For example, the sky is blue (most of the time, anyway).  I mean who ever heard of a green sky? Well, naturally, the sky can't be green because the grass is, so the sky must be blue.  A sexy woman is a fox, a babe, a bombshell. Sexy can also be sultry.  But a babe with a bad reputation is a vixen (or, for those with smaller vocabularies, simply a bitch).  A sexy man? A hottie or a hunk. Are women less creative with the labels, or is it just simpler to characterize all the sexy man-traits into two (or maybe three) categories?  Who knows?

But labels induce stereotyping, which exacerbates prejudice.  Why, even groups of prejudice can be prejudiced against others in their respective groups.

I wouldn't say I'm prejudiced, but it sometimes annoys me when other guys want to act like girls (The whole drag queen persona--or phenomena--does not apply here!).  I sometimes feel that, if they want to act like girls, they should just dispense with their physical manhood and be girls.  I will also readily admit that the thought is quite harsh and apologize to those whose personalities are on the feminine side of androgynous for even having the thought.  It is, however, a prime example of how society has enforced our ways of thinking and how we must conform to the unwritten bylaws of society to fit in.

Needless to say, these thoughts give way to the reason behind this post:  the way we choose words and phrases to soften the blow of negativity.  For example:

1. Flambouyant is just a fancy phrase for sissy. So is trendy, stylistic, and metrosexual.
2. Outspoken has become synonymous "I'm glad he or she has the balls to say what I do not, but I wish they would just shut up!".
3. In some circles, people pretend to believe that an activist is a champion of special, rather than equal, rights.
4. Opinionated is another way of saying "never shuts up".

But I have to agree with the idea behind the above mentioned social networking status:  Of all the labels in the world and all the people who do fit nicely into these types of categories, perhaps the leper among them are those who are superficial (or "fake").  Sometimes superficiality is a defense mechanism, put into place early in life to protect that which is most valuable to us--our heart.  But guys--and ladies:  when you keep it up, you end up hurting yourself more.  There are people out there who will love and accept you for who you are; if you are experiencing problems you can't handle alone, someone out there is willing to help you.  All you have to do is drop the charade, be yourself, and ask for the help you need.  Self-improvement is only a step away.